Hi Everyone, Sorry i have been missing a while...

I am sorry I disappeared for a bit there. I haven't had the words to share things lately.  Even though, I have had fun stories, new products, and we have things going on around the farm, I was absent with some important people in my life.

Then today, as I drove home from teaching, I was thinking about the friends and loved ones coming and going, and the many blessings in our lives, and began to think I might be ready to write today.  Then while I was doing chores before loading the car for the market, I heard this song, and I began to open up a bit. I don't know why, since this song really isn't much about what is going on in my life, but it has always touched me so perhaps that is all it was.

Here is the video for the song...

http://www.cmt.com/videos/dierks-bentley/701627/home.jhtml

To be completely honest, I don't know how much to tell. While I have often split several things off into other blogs, it seems to make more sense these days to be honest that life in balance is not something I have mastered, It is, instead, a work in progress, like many other aspects of our lives. And this morning, my students reminded me that somehow I should be remembering my role as an example for them and taking care of myself better (they caught me limping again).

I promised them that I understood, but that sometimes the balance goes off a bit, and it can be the act of bringing it back into balance which is more important in our long term wellness.  And, in fact, my husband has promised to take care of the farm and dinner tonight so that after the farmer's market I could teach my last class of the day and take time to practice yoga before the drive back to the farm, the home school grading would still be there!

My mom has been staying with us a bit.  She came to help my auntie, who was in a health crisis. In the end, the experts couldn't help with her inability to swallow or speak. I spent extra time with she and my mom. Last Wednesday, Bailey and I sat with Mom and laughed and told silly stories about auntie and sang songs.  Thursday morning, she went to be with God, her parents and her husband.  I hope she had a great dance with Uncle Mac on Friday, as we all watched cousin Ashley marry Michael, now a new cousin in the family.

Life is funny that way.  Ups and downs and twists and turns.  God has a plan for us all, even when we have a hard time letting him run the show.

Ashley's wedding was wonderful, and I was glad Daddy had flown in, too. Then on Saturday, we took eight chickens out to the poultry show. Since life was even crazier than expected, we ended up hanging out at the show to let the kids have fun with friends and participate in showmanship.  Bailey even earned reserve champion in her age division, and third place overall.  But more on that later, I will sit down and put in all the photos and plans for the chickens in a bit!

Have you ever sat in church and listened to the preacher launch into a sermon that seems tailor made for your life?  Well, that proceeded to happen on Sunday. The minister began to speak about life in conflict, and how to handle those you are conflicting with.  One of the tenets of coexisting was that you and the person you are in conflict with need to agree to live in peace.

I think that is the part that has been hardest.  For years, I have gone with the turn the other cheek theory, thinking if I tried to be kind and guard involvement with those folks who have worked in concert to harass my child, that they would eventually be kind. Or that we could somehow coexist.  Those people have consistently chosen to pretend to coexist, but have gone out of their way to be malicious and deceitful. I have had a lot of trouble with the ongoing anger that sits in my heart, something I don't like to hold on to. And when I see those who supposedly were to help my child, who were the only authority we could go to in order to prevent it from happening to someone else, when I see them holding those people who continue to try to hurt my child being held up with praise and helped to the top- I worry about what will happen to other youth, and what message that sends my children.

My daughter looked at me when she saw the rewards befalling these folks, and I told her that in the end, things will right themselves, and she will be better for being strong.  While it doesn't change the desire to protect other youth, my approach with her has been to encourage her to continue to volunteer her time, though not in the section of the organization that protects and commends abusive people, instead to volunteer in the section doing the work that she really believes in. I tell her regularly that we are the company we keep and we are seen in conjunction with those who we keep company with, and their missions, so hopefully that will help guide a path Hopefully. I wish I always felt convinced that I was balancing protection and the right thing.  Another of those aspects of life that doesn't come with an instruction manual.

Anyhow, I must admit that I am glad to be slowly getting things back on track this week.  We were basically treading water with home school for a bit there, just the basics and most of our energy going to family. But truthfully, that is what I had looked most forward to in home schooling- living by our own priorities, focusing on the academics and the extra time going to experiential learning and the things we really believe in.  So family was big, and we will be doing more academics as Christmas approaches that I had originally written in the plan, but that is okay.

But I do miss having my folks around. Wish they were closer- my sister and niece, too.  Our family keeps growing smaller.

Well, the minister called to check on us earlier, and I thanked him for the resources and recommendations he had given us. I told him they helped as we just hung in there together and put one foot in front of the other.  He seemed to understand just what I meant, and said that was what family was for.  Maybe that makes me normal for once, but I wouldn't expect it.

I know the sadness is for those of us behind, and there is always more to learn and do.  So I suppose that more than anything else, family is what I am thankful for as we move forward to the Thanksgiving holiday later this week.  We somehow manage to stick together and love each other through it.

Well, I am back, and working on balancing things back out, and over the next day or so, I will do my best to update you on all the animals and fun. Have a blessed holiday and enjoy your family, whether it has feathers, fur, or what have you.  Love to all.

Sunday Morning Takeback

One of the kids jogs up to the porch and turns up the country music station on the radio.  I can hear Wyatt and Shadow playing their way through chores.  The buzzer on the dryer goes off, good timing since I just finished some watering on the back porch.

These are the weekend mornings that I have been missing.  And the time I (and the kids)have been craving at home.  A year ago, I took on an additional part time job to help with the time between the semesters, and keep my teaching skills current, teaching aerobics at a health club in town.  I hadn't done it in a while.  They required two classes, which was good for me to fill in between semesters, but the two they had available were Saturday and Sunday.  So that really chopped up the weekends.  I had to move form Saturday to Monday when the 4-H year began, and it was only in the last few weeks that I was able to move from the Sunday to the Fridays.

I began that time in bed sick, and have been crawling my way back.  Now, with Wyatt out of school, we will begin to establish a system of chores and homeschooling, working on a positive flow of time and a balance in our lives of fun, work and family time.  Some of that is just going to take time, patience and practice.
 

Just as each new day, and each new life, bring promise and possibility, so does each new change in phase of life.We are meant to take these opportunities and reach forward and up, and make something special that glorifies all that like is, and all that we can do in our world.  After being backed into a corner time-wise by bullies, and spending all those years driving so much so the kids could attend school in town, is was more than time for a change.

So the next phase of our like will be consistently manicured, with exercise together, family time in fun and hobbies, and farm work,

Careful and thoughtful education of the kids so they have the opportunities to learn and grow, but with balance between classroom and practical learning,

and more.  I don't expect this to be a smooth and easy ride.  I know there will be bumps in the road and truth be told, the transition is slow already.  But I am more than ready to live the life I preach- balance in all things.  Watch for more updates on learning to home school and  the farm life transition.

Hope you all have a magnificent week!

Mission Statement

I would bet that when you clicked on this, you thought it would be all about the mission statement of the farm, right?  Well, I will get to that.  But it is really about life balance and doing the things we do best, and knowing our limits.  This is especially for those who feel so responsible as the consummate volunteers that they overextend themselves to the point of frazzled.  Anyone fit that description?

If you ask my husband, I have no room to talk in this department, and he would be partly right.  But over the last couple years of our daughter being bullied by adults and the major life changes that have come with job changes and farming and beginning to home school the kids, there has been a great deal of self-reflection and people watching.  Some of the people watching was to look for answers, some to learn to listen the warning signs so my children wouldn't be hurt again.

And I have learned a lot of things from this self reflection.

First, I need to learn to set boundaries and quit bending over backward to try to make people be nice when they are out to get someone.  No amount of being nice will undo someone with the bent to bully.  Once they have plotted and potted and bullied for so long, it doesn't matter.  So set boundaries, and expect people to live up to their end of the bargain.  You really can call people out on it and still have manners.  Also, once the passive aggressive bully stuff starts, it really is time to walk away.

Second, no amount of good intentions fix overworked bad behavior.  I had repeatedly, over the course of the last year, told my son that someone who was involved with the folks who bullied my daughter was likely not involved in the mess, and even as all should be treated with respect, this one was still there with the right intentions as well.  I was surprised to see her also volunteering at yet another event, and realized she was quite curt with my son and I at check in.  I figured little of it, though my son noticed, and I told him to let it go.

I am guessing that the person was there volunteering, yet again, because she felt no one else would do it.  I am also guessing that is why she laid into him, screaming, until he was on the verge of tears right before his turn at competition.  If you are so frazzled that you forget why you volunteered i the first place, then you need to step back and say, I would love to help, but I really cannot do that today.  That speaks volumes.  And if you are worried no one else will do it, read the next part.

Third, people really do, for the most part want to step  up, even when they on't know how.  Sure there are lunatics who have mean spirited intentions and would destroy a child to see their win, who would lie and cheat to get their way.  But despite the experience we had lately, I have seen far more good folks.  In fact, when we joined a home school group of folks who had been together forever, people have consistently reached out to include my children.

Additionally, some people who have been the consummate volunteers, the glue that have held programs together, have had to  step down for health or family reasons.  They knew they could not make it all work anymore.and stepped down.  We miss them terribly.  The parents remaining knew we could not do it all, but kept telling one another we would help anyone willing to be the figurehead.  Then one parent stepped forward.  You might think that everyone stepped back.  But they didn't.  The one that stepped forward is one of those great organizers.  She put each of us in charge of what we felt we could handle, and then set us to work.  We all had a responsibility in the final outcome.  It might have been a little ragtag, but the mission was to save the project for the kids- and do it well, without taking the project into debt.  So however imperfect, it still worked.

I know a lot of other farm folks out there who have some really cool goals.  Like the folks over there at the hen house, who select charities to donate the proceeds of their baked goods and eggs to.  They select different charities each time, based upon what they feel strongly about, and don't worry about saving the world, just making a difference every day.

My husband is an avid outdoors-man.  He and his father and our son- who all look like different ages of the same person, mind you- go out on the desert cleanups with the other hunters.  They will put tremendous energy into a single day cleanup and hauling all of the destructive mess out of the environment.  He knows where his limits are, but works with recycling efforts and will take the kids on an afternoon walk along the road by the farm to pick up a bag of garbage and a bag of cans.

Here at the farm, I have my "Mama" mission, as well as us having our farm mission.  The Mama Mission is all about raising children in the crazy world, and not becoming jaded by the crazies.  Raising good, mannerly kids who follow through and work hard.  And while not living with constant suspicion, setting boundaries on the drama that is allowed to mess with our life as a family.

As for the farm, we don't believe in the feed lot system of raising livestock, which can be quite a challenge in the desert.  So we raise goats and chickens as naturally as we possible can, with lots of room to play and roam, but with fences so the rooster get along and the predators don't get to them.  We raise veggies in pots and in the ground, and try new varieties each year, working with heirloom and organic varieties.  We are also working on being good stewards of this environment.  We use the shade of trees to prolong our growing season, and harvest water from the roof, composting the much and food waste to improve our yields.  And we don't hide what we learn, whether it is good or bad.  We share so that we can help others do better, too.

That isn't a fancy mission statement with pretty phrases for either one.  But does encompass the goals we have for hte farm, and the goals I maintain for myself.   We aren't perfect, but we don't expect anyone else to be, either.  But maybe we can all do a better job if we work together.

So, what is your mission statement?  How do you do with keeping it in mind?  Any tips for saying no to keep from overextending?  Or for knowing when to say when?  Life is an ongoing exercise in balancing the multiple priorities and staying true to yourself and your mission.  Spring cleaning and summer downtime are great for refocusing hte mission and looking at commitments for the coming year so that you can manage what is on your plate successfully and happily,  Care to share your mission?

Surviving

As I was just moving things around outside, I found myself thinking that for all of the work and all of the ups and downs, I don't feel as though I am moving as far forward as I would like, but instead just surviving.  But then I thought, for all we have been through, is that really so bad?

Over the last few days, I have said to myself, over and over, "I will not borrow trouble."  I know that at my age, I should know better than this.  But as I learned that the bullies who doggedly pursued my child have, in several cases, been befriending the true friends my daughter has, just as they did before they isolated her in the last couple years before viciously tearing her down, I found myself having to say this, and remember that she does have true friends.  And she will need to learn to handle those people eventually.  I have her homeschooling now, so that she can at least focus on schoolwork without the constant bully garbage, but she does need to learn to stand up to people like that.  So, "I will not borrow trouble."  I do know that it only makes things worse!  Enough overprotective mama!

I had originally planned that I would take time to blog today about the power of those little moments in life, where you turn around and just say "wow."  Those moments of connection with nature's beauty are where my husband feels most spiritual, closer to God within his own heart.  But as I was looking through magazines for recipes to save so I could recycle the magazines, something reminded me of the need to count our blessings regularly.  This right after the thought about surviving, made me think I would take time for that in today's blog post.

Each evening at dinner, we say grace as a family, led by the children.  The simple prayer hasn't evolved as the children have aged, despite my suggestions.  So, after grace, we share around the table what we are thankful for on that day.  That simple act of counting our blessings, and rejoicing in those special to those we love, is so special to me, and I think it helps ground me, too.  Especially on the days that worrying- as much as I know not to- sneaks into my consciousness.

It is interesting, as we have heard the phrase, "from your lips to God's ears" that each little prayer of hope, thanksgiving, and self reflection is a small conversation that helps us become the person we want to be- and that we can be proud of.  Regardless of your personal beliefs, these simple acts are also scientifically proven to increase the level of joy in your life.

So if you, like me, find the need to remind yourself to let go of the worries and count hte blessings in your life- consider yourself blessed- and on the right track to more blessings.  Good really does breed good, right.  In our outlook as well.  And now we have science to back us up- yet again!

Have a great day, all!

"Find your own Calcutta"

For those of you who read similar columns to the one that supplied this blog topic, you may be surprised at the very American notions that line up so simply with the tenets of yoga and life balance.  Follow me for a minute, let's see where this goes...

This afternoon, I was speaking with a student and an intern at work.The student confided in the intern and myself, that he regularly eats fast food because it is so easy.  The intern  said it was tantamount to smoking and began discussing grilling some chicken to carry in a cooler and buying fresh fruits and vegetables.  Whoa, now, intern.  For many, this is just too much change.  Too much all at once for many to stick to, anyhow.

So we talked for a moment about making small changes first.  Little things like healthier snacks to spread out the fast food.  Perfect?  No.  But one step at a time.  And he is going to avail himself of her free personal training services.  Get the most out of the class, one step at a time.

Too much of a good thing can be just that.

It is the same with volunteering our time, or doing any special thing.

It is just SO hard to be all of the things we want to be in this world.  I have often, in the course of our sixteen year marriage, told Charlie that I should be a stay at home Mom.  Each time, he has laughed and told me that if I wasn't gainfully employed, I would still be frayed at the edges, with multiple near-full-time volunteer gigs, and no money to donate to the causes.  Darn, I hate when he's right.

So back to the article I was reading.  The woman had selected a spiritual guru, of sorts- someone she wished to emulate- in order to focus her energy in that when she gave happiness to others, she would feel happier, too.  In the process, she had stumbled upon a line from Mother Teresa, when someone had asked her how they themselves might make the kind of difference she had, in her ministry to the poorest of the poor.  She had told them, "Find your own Calcutta."

Was Mother Teresa being territorial?  Not likely!  Inside each of us, there is that one cause.  That one meaning, or devotion, which moves us to action.  My Grandma volunteered at the hospital for a very long time, then ran women's bible study groups in her retirement home.  I know some who run benefit functions for animal rescue groups, my sister has twice walked the Avon 5 Day Breast Cancer Walk.

Just because it is your calling now, doesn't mean it always will be, either.  But if you were to find that one thing that really moves you, pick that one true thing and son't feel that you have to be swept up in every cause that comes your way.  As important as all those other causes are, you matter, too.  And you will have more to give overall, if you are not pulled in so many directions that you cannot effectively give to what matters most, or manage your day-to-day life.  Find that one thing that really moves you.  In other words, find your own Calcutta.

Perseverance-

Or- Show Up, and Try

This time of year, I spend a lot of time telling my students that if you keep showing up and trying, you will get better. (Or stronger, faster, more agile-whatever it is you are training for.)  I often find myself saying, too, that of the students who look back in three months and have not met their goals, the single most common thing stated as what they would do differently next time is (drum roll, please...): showing up more.

So what does this have to do with life, or the peewee football photos on this page, you ask?  

Pretty much everything.

Life comes with its wins, like the kids below experienced, yesterday.  Some are easy.  But sometimes they only look that way from the outside.

These boys came out fighting yesterday.  They scored quickly- Sunshine, then Tank, recovering their own kickoff, even.   They ended up winning 36-0.  But what might not be visible to the casual observer are other aspects of this win.  Like number 54, in the middle was playing through an upset stomach, and one of the Quarterbacks was just back from a concussion in last week's game.  Or the fact that they haven't won in well over a year.  At least.

Just as big a win for my young nose-guard who was fighting illness on the field, was the fact that it was a win which came as the first time his dad got to coach from beside him on the sidelines, instead of from afar around his military schedule.

That part of us that helps us keep getting up in the morning, like that underlying fight of my friends and family members who are fighting or living with cancer- that perseverance- not only gets you to the win or the next day, but it gets you the little things.

In yoga, there are some postures, or asanas, which help build physical strengths, or also those that build strength inside- from trust to perseverance.  Holding a posture that is hard, or a little scary, that helps build perseverance. 

 That same perseverance is a quality that will help you have a little more get up anyway when life keeps trying to knock you down.  Sometimes we need a little help to keep getting up, and sometimes we need to helps others.  But by practicing perseverance, and taking on new challenges in life, from a new sport to a new class or hobby, will give you a reason to get up anyway.  After all- there was that one time when you won.  It can and will happen again.

There's my thought for your Sunday. Hugs to you all. And find something to tackle this week, or helps someone else take on life.  It will build you both.

Monsoon Beauty

I have always been a sucker for skies like this.  For some reason, they have been a reminder to me of God's promise, and the possibility that life is.  The monsoon has left in its wake this week, a good bit of destruction, people swept away, the greenhouse in shambles and debris all over the saturated ground.  That makes a good time to look back at the beauty of the monsoon, and to remember all of the life that the water brings.

Some might say photos like this beg to be made into memes or inspirational posters.  Maybe.

Or maybe they are meant to simply transport us back to the beauty of a summer afternoon, when I didn't need to rush to get the kids through homework or off to the next thing, and when we could really just enjoy being together as a family.

Well, either way, whenever I look out and feel overwhelmed, it is a good time to count my blessings and look at the beauty of the life and the world I am given.  So that is what I have chosen to share this morning.  Later today, or tomorrow, I have a picture and a story to share about relaxing and enjoying the moment.  Both tenets of faith, as well as yoga, another place where the world fit together nicely.

Have a beautiful and blessed weekend!

The Good Things...

Positive thoughts, positive posture…

I am trying to get back to more yoga and wellness posts on the good old farm blog.  I was thinking the other day, when I began the latest semester at Pima, about what other new students had found helpful, and how I could employ that in edging this group into their practice.  When I have taught the long classes, those one hour and forty minutes in length, sometimes they tire quickly and get sore. 

I recall one day last fall, I took a longer lead in for the class.  They took time in setting the intent for their practice in savasana, and I asked them to select the good things happening in their lives in the last day or so.  I asked them to focus on them for a moment as they allowed their breath to come naturally.

Funny, we did more work on the floor at the beginning of that class, and still had a good intense set of standing work with asanas, yet it seemed as though the shoulders looked more relaxed to me, as I was checking posture and adjusting the class to the needs of the group. After class, several of them commented to me that they felt it was easier to work with the more advanced postures that day, one girl said it was great, and that focusing on the good in her life seemed to make all the difference in the world in her posture, letting go of her stress.

Reflecting on that class, I have thought about whether the good spirit with which the students approached the class could have made that much difference.  To be honest, when we are more positive, we do tend to stand taller.  This cn allow the rib cage to more fully receive the breath.  Also, standing taller improves balance, as the joints are more properly stacked and aligned.

A friend of mine keeps the most insightful and positive quotes on her facebook status quite regularly.  When I see them, it helps me adjust my own attitude and remember my intent in my day.  So, need a great place to start?  Stop and think about the good things in life which you are thankful for.  Focus on those, and allow your spirit to shine through.  Your posture, and you outlook, will likely thank you!

Yoga thought for your Thursday...

So a friend of mine shared this photo on facebook.  It gave me an idea for a quick post...

Many of you may know that there is a great deal of health research into yoga these days, and they have confirmed some of the health benefits the Yoga folks have long purported (funny, that, huh?  Just don't think that means that you should try everything you see- not all poses are right for everyone!)

One of the things we do know?  That rounding and expanding postures, such as those being done by the kitty buddies in this photo here, are good for healthy breathing and stress reduction.Feeling a little stressed?  Folding forward, balanced by lengthening (as opposed to arching) the spine, might just make ya feel a bit better!  And take a relaxation break after your exercise break.  And smile! 

Hugs to you all!

The Right Decision

"You will know you made the right decision when you pick the hardest and most painful choice but your heart is at peace."

I "stole" this from a post from a friend (many thanks for expressing this so well, Victoris!).  Decisions can be so tough, and second guessing ourselves is a part of trying to do the right thing.  Sometimes, I think I try so hard not to make a decision until I have to, just trying to get all my ducks in a row to make the right one.  Some of my firends tend to worry almost obsessively about things none of us control. 

I believe strongly that we should work to do the best we can with what we actually do control, and underdstand where that line is.  As for the decisions of this life, the hardest ones matter the most, and we will not always be right.  But this is a good thing to remember to give us a little guidance along the way.  And like our mothers always told us, if we do the best we can and came with the right intention, it will work out in the end.  While sometimes it hasn't felt like it would work out lately, maybe the big plan really is working out in the end. 

Hugs to you all!  Let your heart lead, smile, and help you to find your right path.

Let your heart Smile...

I have been thinking about this blog post for a while, but it didn't take shape until this morning.  As my feet were speeding along on the elliptical before teaching yoga this morning, all the thoughts swimming around in my mind about several different posts that haven't quite taken shape yet, the focus and hindsight of some recent discussions in our family brought clarity to this thought in particular: Let your heart Smile.  Funny how a good workout brings clarity, isn't it?

Somehow in all of the hustle and bustle of the never ending to-do list, trying to embody the beliefs to which we espouse, driving long commutes and working through health issues, work, school and the bullying problems, I felt like the clarity wasn't quite there.  The whole family did, but we were trying to finish the year strong, with the thought we could regroup over the summer.  But then, that is what we have been saying.

Don't get me wrong, we are generally happy, hardworking folks.  A military family with a large number of animals and busy kids.  Like most of us.  But we were also trying to make small, beneficial changes.  Some were working, some were not.  And what has happened in the course of it, well, you;ll see what I mean...

Charlie had talked for years about changing jobs within his unit.  he would complete the application, then not turn it in.  Staying where he had been for so many years was familiar, and he knew if he needed time to help with something, it was there.  But he travelled so much, and he was under a lit of stress.  Then he finally turned in an application.  And within weeks, he boarded twice, landing at the top of each board list.  He had a lot of second thoughts, but ultimately gave up a stripe in rank and found a new job where he works like crazy, but is recognized for his ability to manage himself, and he says he is more fulfilled getting to work directly with the pilots. Funny, people keep saying that he smiles all the time now.  They are right.

Then it was our daughter.  Sometimes the allergies and migraines can be a real challenge for adults, let alone when you are fourteen.  Add to that our commute, her multiple animals, and many interests.  As she puts it, High School is easier academically than middle school, but harder in people and social pressure.  After a really round with bullies, the wonderful robotics team she was lucky enough to be invited to was advanced to nationals/ world championships.  In trying to juggle academics and a once in a lifetime opportunity, she found she needed to let go of a few things.  She put off the decision, and once she finally did, she began to smile again.  REALLY smile again.

We are certainly trying to take the time to refocus and recenter on what is most important to us.  Following our hearts, but without neglecting responsibility.  Just remembering what it is that drive us in our lives and our life together.  We all can get a little fuzzy sometimes.  Then we need to stop and let our hearts smile.  I wish the best for all of you, and that this holds in your own heart.  So come on, you too.  Let your heart smile!

Thank you... I needed that hope...

We have been through some tough patches around here this Spring.  Often times, it has left me wondering about my generation and, despite knowing better than to generalize, feeling like those of my generation may be failing the world with the me attitudes being given or passed on to children, and the way so many of us seem to live out our dreams through the accomplishments of our children and teaching them to step on others in the conquest of more wins.

My mother reminded me this morning, that the lord doesn't take away without first giving, and if we open our eyes to those gifts, they truly are there. (She is good at smacking me upside the head with perspective that way.)  Even as I was saying my generation had serious issues, knowing she would tell me not to generalize, and remembering someone who recently told me that all generations are flawed in the eyes of the generation before them, Wyatt Clay went out the back door saying it was a good thing I was from a generation from several centuries ago. 

That just might be the first time I take one of his age comments as a compliment.

School doesn't come easy for Wyatt, and he has faced his share of bullies.  Through his different processing, he was blessed with the ability to know which adults are worth trusting, something we call the Wyatt List, and if I would learn to watch who is on it, and the rare case that someone has their Wyatt list privileges removed, I would likely do better int his life.

Bailey has been through some really vicious bullies.  The kind that hurt very deep, and yet have caused her to focus on what is most important.  And through it, some very special people have come forward to patiently guide her, and to accept her into their inner circle.  And she is learning to stand for herself.

At the same time, we have made many special friends with wonderful insight and focus in this crazy life, who have modeled for me the patience and acceptance with strength that I hope to get better at.And we are better learning, after all this time as a military family, to stand together as a team and communicate.  And we are placing our foot down and taking more time to let kids be kids.

So to all those who have given me hope, I thank you,  I guess there is hope for our generation after all.  Maybe we can continue to make a positive difference.  Hugs, you all rock!

This morning's story for good

http://www.npr.org/2012/02/22/147186116/when-theres-more-to-winning-than-winning

I teach yoga, so sometimes you hear me call it Karma.  I am also a parent, and at a 4H practice I once listened to a parent and leader discuss her expectations that any of her youth had better help out a fellow competitor who was having issues, with good sportsmanship and a smile on their face.  And I was raised in a family where your work ethic and how you treat others, not your win-loss record are the measure of who you are. 

This morning I managed to get out the door without my cell phone.  So I got to make the long drive home.  Turned out to be a good thing.  Got a few moments in of catching up with Charlie as he was beginning his day, and helped him study for a board he has this afternoon.  He told me a good friend had broken his leg earlier this week.  The first thing I thought was ouch.  To both of us, his is such a dear sweet guy with a smile and a hug for everyone, who manages to have all the dumb luck.  But still a great guy.

Along the road home, I was listening to NPR, catching up on the goings on.  There is a weekly commentator there, Frank Deford who has such wonderful perspective to his thoughts.  He has logged in commentaries about people wanting to remove the national anthem from sporting events because people behave so poorly and his thoughts about athletes as heroes.  Today was a wonderful piece about what makes them famous.  And the role of the coach in making youth into good people.

Well, I hope you check it out, and leave your feedback.  I hope that for you, like it did for me, it is one little lift in the step and reminder of who you want to be and how you want to be remembered.  Have a great day everyone!

Hi Everyone- I am not one for chain emails and the like, but my mom forwarded this to me at a time when I am sitting and thinking about the values of the world we live in, and how to mold Bailey and Wyatt into being people with the values we espouse, and who give to the world around them rather than suck the life from it for their personal gain.  I have watched such bullying and heartbreak and seen burnout in wonderful people, and want to remind the children that we can always make this world better.  So I am sharing this story in the hopes that they - and we all- remember to be the change we wish to see in the world...

AN IRISH BLESSING

His  name was Fleming, and  he  was a poor  Scottish farmer. One day,
while  trying to  make a living for  his family, he  heard  a cry for help
coming from a nearby  bog. He   dropped his tools and  ran to the   bog.

There, mired  to his waist in  black  muck, was a  terrified boy,
screaming and  struggling  to  free himself. Farmer Fleming  saved  the
lad from what could have been  a  slow and  terrifying  death.

The next  day, a  fancy  carriage pulled up to the  Scotsman's sparse
surroundings. An   elegantly  dressed nobleman stepped out and  introduced
 himself as  the father of  the boy Farmer Fleming  had   saved.

'I want to repay   you,' said  the nobleman. 'You saved my  son's   life.'

'No,  I can't accept  payment  for what I  did,' the Scottish farmer
replied waving  off the offer. At  that moment,  the  farmer's own son
came to the door of the family  hovel.

'Is that  your  son?' the  nobleman   asked.

'Yes,' the  farmer  replied   proudly.

'I'll make  you  a deal. Let  me provide him with the level  of  education
my own son will enjoy  If  the lad is  anything like his  father, he'll no
doubt grow to  be a   man we both will be proud of.' And that  he   did.

Farmer Fleming's son  attended  the  very best schools and  in time,
graduated from  St. Mary's   Hospital Medical School in London,  and  went
on to become known  throughout the  world  as the noted Sir Alexander
Fleming,  the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years  afterward,  the same  nobleman's son  who was saved from the  bog
was stricken  with  pneumonia.

What  saved  his life this  time?   Penicillin.

The name of the  nobleman?   Lord Randolph Churchill ..  His son's   name?

Sir  Winston    Churchill.

Someone once said:  What  goes  around comes  around.

Work like  you don't  need the  money.
Love like   you've never been  hurt.
Dance  like  nobody's  watching.
Sing  like nobody's listening.
Live  like it's Heaven on Earth.

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH:

May  there always be work  for  your hands to  do;
May  your purse always hold a coin  or   two;
May the sun always shine on   your  windowpane;
May a rainbow be  certain to   follow each  rain;
May the hand of a   friend  always be near you;
May God fill  your  heart with  gladness to cheer  you.
and may  you be in heaven  a  half hour before the devil  knows  you're
dead.

I wish you…

As the mother of a freshman daughter and fourth grade son, I spend a lot of time thinking about how to gently lead them while allowing them to find their way in this life.  That seems to be my big focus in life balance lately.  Some days for Bailey, some days for Wyatt.  The boys are intermixed with the girls all the time now at school, and many have been pairing off.  Bailey has told the potential boyfriends thus far that she just doesn’t have time right now, with school and 4H and so much on her plate, but I figure it is only a matter of time, I don’t get to keep her from growing up.

All I ever really wanted was to be worth it.  Worth the extra time to sit with and share hopes and dreams, worth time lingering after lunch or dinner or school really listening to what I had to say, worth staying awake to share secrets with after homework or work was over.  Worth holding hands and opening doors for, the little things that make you feel safe and loved.

Now, as I look at Bailey, I hope she will hold out for the little things, the things that show she matters.  I hope she won’t rush into anything just because she doesn’t want to be alone, and know how to say with manners and without hurting anyone’s feelings if she really doesn’t want to be more than good friends.  I hope she will maintain her sense of self, and her friendships, and learn how to be herself while with and apart from others.

I know so far, she is weaving her way through and watching her friends experiment with changing for boys and trying to learn to support friends who are forgetting to keep their friends or who are walking on others to climb socially.  I try to hear her out and remind her to be someone she can be proud of in the long run.  But I remember High School.  I know the times are rocky, and that it is art of the learning curve. And I know all Mamas worry, it is part of the job with the hours and heartache we naturally give it.  But I love my goofballs, like most every other Mama, and I wish for her to find her way through the trials and turbulence to the person she will become with as little hurt as necessary and lifting up others with her as she goes.  And I wish her the little things that will remind her how truly special he really is.

Arts and Culture and Happiness

I was reading an article earlier regarding self reported health and happiness which seems to be greater in those who are connected with the arts.  These folks don’t even need to be artists themselves, similar increases in reported levels of happiness occur in those who go to the symphony, galleries, theater or ballet as those who engage in performing or creating the art themselves.

Myself, I really value the connectedness and spiritual lift I get when I work in the workshop or take the time to dance.  My daughter and I were discussing how much gentler and more relaxed my son becomes when he gets to paint and color and enjoy his animals.  She likes to write and draw, and loves her Musical Theatre class at school.

I regularly tell my students that I am a huge proponent of taking one class for you each semester, and do my best to structure time for myself to practice and work on my art.  Growing up, I was a ballerina.  Outside of the dancing I did, the shows and the rest, Dad made the time to take us to the theatre, musicals, Radio City Holiday show, the Nutcracker and more.  It was more than a chance to experience the arts, also a chance to dream and to be a part of the story being right there where it was happening.  I used to take Bailey to the Nutcracker each year.   This year, that tradition needs to return.  Anyone care to join us?

Sleep, who needs it?

As usual, I am tired.  The farm has kept me quite busy, with the drama and heartwrench and tremendous joy that only children and farming can bring.  Last night, Hopper Spark and Remington cuddled baby Nathan and gave me five straight hours of sleep between feedings after he ran hard to keep up with my farm chores yesterday.  Thanks so much to my goofy dogs!

As I sit here at the craft store today, cleaning out some of my files and updating quickbooks during a very slow day in the store, I finished an article on sleep and health for my students at Pima.  Funny, coming from me, but sleep really is one of my top resolutions this year to benefit my health and wellness. In fact, this article came about because Tammy asked me what my own goals were after a discussion about goals and how we would know when we achieved them.

That said, following is the article.  I am still trying, and I hope you will the thoughts as you prioritize sleep in your schedule.  While I don't see long afternoon naps in bed or on the couch anywhere close in my future, I am working to make sleep a nighttime priority.  So here ya' go  Hope it helps you think healthy...

Sleep, who needs it?


This time every year, people are setting (and sometimes already breaking) their resolutions for wellness. I am often asked what my goals are for the year. To be quite honest, I am pretty active, and work consistently at getting in the cardio and weights. Leading yoga groups helps me remember not only to practice the yoga, but the mindfulness as well. Nevertheless, stress and exhaustion are ever present. So what is my real goal for health and wellness? Sleep. Did you know that keeping up with sleep can even help fight cancer!

I see students who work out tremendously and eat poorly, those who cannot seem to get themselves into the gym, those who despise either cardio or weights. Somehow, some changes are easier than others. For me, I have struggled to work enough sleep into my schedule since college. But somehow, it was easier to kid myself about the effects of skipping sleep back then.

What are the health effects of not getting enough sleep? Well, when sleep deprivation is short lived, the effects are not too bad, and the health effects are more easily and readily reversed. Yet when you deprive your body of sleep in the long term, the body begins to suffer more.

Some negative side effects of long term sleep deprivation include interference with learning and memory, decreased metabolism and weight gain, inattention due to falling asleep during the daytime, mood swings including irritability and impatience, decrease in cardiovascular health, and a decrease in immune function leading to becoming sick or developing chronic diseases such as diabetes.

It is recommended that you sleep 7-9 hours each night. That isn’t always possible, and sometimes there are people who don’t need quite as much as others. Still, it is while you sleep that your body is most able to repair itself. During sleep, your body focuses on internal processes rather than the never-ending to-do list.

Consider it this way. When your body is deprived of sleep, it goes into a state of stress. This produces stress hormones, and increases the blood pressure and cholesterol levels, adding more stress for your heart and brain, eventually leading toward heart attacks and strokes. Therefore, sleep reduces the stress on your body, allowing for better blood flow and circulation, enabling your body to reduce inflammation and repair from exercise and injury. Then in the day time following that healthy sleep, the sleep induced repair will allow you to pay better attention to the task at hand, and make fewer mistakes. This alertness increases you chances of a better night of sleep the following night. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

When you consider that your new alertness and energy keep you better tuned in, you are paying better attention in class and at work, and processing what you are learning. See where I am going with this? Proper sleep bumps up you memory, your mood, your attentiveness and your cognitive function- allowing you to draw better from your memory banks and seem or become smarter!

I mentioned weight increases with a state of sleep deprivation. Research has shown a greater likelihood of being overweight in those who sleep less than 7 hours each night. The hormones in your body that affect appetite and weight control are easily disrupted when your body doesn’t get the chance to sleep and repair itself. I am sure you are at least remotely familiar with the connection between stress hormones and fat retention as well. Now, sleep won’t make you thin, but it will better enable your body to function, thereby enabling all that work you do in the gym to pay off.

Study after study draws a correlation between drowsiness and heart attacks, cancer, stressed relationships, accidents, memory impairment and a host of other issues. While we are working on our to-do lists and wellness priorities, shouldn’t we include sleep? It is far from easy to make changes, but stay focused, stay organized, and go to bed on time. That early morning workout will be more productive for it, and your body will thank you!

Christmas Vacation

Well, the storm didn't bring our little area any measurable rain.  Guess it left it all in California.  So we decided to burn a little energy going for a family walk- the kids, Remington and I.  The sun was just dippin under the mountains when we passed the first mile.

The kids wanted to run, Remi would only go so far ahead of me. (Glad someone in this clan still loves Mama).  I don't run with the camera- replacements are not in the budget.  So here they are waiting a bit ahead while I took the last photo.

It almost got too dark on the way back- oops.  But the three of them posed for a photo.  These easygoing days at home- taking care of the animals, catching up, going for walks- just don't happen often enough!

Wyatt had a project in mind for making holiday candy.  I remember making candy with my Grandma at Christmas time.  He taught Bailey how he had made the ones for his teacher, then they made some creative ones.

Well, the house still isn't clean, the shopping isn't done, and the pens still need working on.  But I really enjoy the little days when I can spend time with the kids and not rush anywhere.  Maybe we have time to prep one last craft project before bed that they can complete tomorrow!

Your Own Best Self

I have spent a lot of time lately discussing goals with a whole range of folks. Be it my children, and discussing what the feel is the most important to them, my clients and what their goals are or my students and the goals they are required to set in order to get a good grade in their fitness class. At the same time, we ask “how will you know when you get there?” of ourselves and those we do goal setting with, and it is funny how the answers change as the journey toward the goals unfolds.



I spent some time with one of my older students yesterday, discussing the fact that the younger students often don’t want to listen to the instructors, and that sometimes we all struggle with the balance of learning o listen to the needs of the body while not giving up or cutting short the push to reach for our goals (and even beyond the goals). This particular student is a testament to never giving up. He is self described as the smallest of the brothers in his family, the least physically inclined. Yet in his return to college, he took the time to take classes in becoming a better student and has listened to the feedback of the instructors whenever we talk with him.


From a distance, this student is the big bulky weight lifter many strive to become, do-rag and all, former service member and champion arm wrestler. He comes every day, is completely comfortable in the gym, has a catalog in his mind of hundreds of exercises. But he has spent this semester going back to basics to overcome injuries and redefine his goals, has decreased weight significantly and used that refocus to become stronger than he thought he might. He takes every opportunity to learn new things and try things. And despite his experience, he never acts above others, and takes time to get to know the young guys who are just stepping into a gym for the first time. He is a great example.


While I don’t know his whole story, I always enjoy his positive attitude. We were discussing yesterday he younger students who don’t always want to take direction. One younger boy had been very defensive to another instructor recently, and this student was a bit put off by his unwillingness to learn or talk with the instructor. And he has been taking some of the younger students under his wing. One of the students he had been trying to encourage was one I have been working with regularly, a sixteen year old who is trying to learn everything he can and find his own goals. Funny he brought him up, because that boy had left me thinking earlier in the week.


It was after my usual teaching shift, and I had corrected something for the boy and discussed different modes of cardio after finishing my own workout. He didn’t really want to try my suggestion, and I was trying to figure out what was really motivating his questions. I asked if there was something in particular he wanted to try. He asked about the workout I had done with a student the previous afternoon. This brought a lot of clarity for me. The student he had seen me working with was a football player who is sitting the year out, working through college and trying to get stronger to try out to return to the team next year. He does much of his lifting on his own, and works with trainers a couple times a week on intense plyometric work.


For this young student, I answered that we could certainly teach him a couple new exercises. It wouldn’t address the area he was pointing to, though. I explained I would be glad to give him a few plyo options to try, but he was going to have to practice them a bit before he could start with the larger box he had seen the day before. I asked a loaded question, not sre what the response would be “What are you hoping to get out of these exercises, so we balance your workout properly with the cardio and strength training?” Ouch, the sly grin came with the slow response I had been hoping not to learn. He wanted to get the muscles stronger and bigger. And he wanted to look like the other student.


This young boy, who is several steps ahead of his peers academically, is very detailed and conscientious, but is not really predisposed genetically to the large muscled shape he is looking up to. As I talked to this young student, he revealed a lot about himself. He is still slowly becoming comfortable in his own skin. He really looks up to this other student, whose confidence and muscle and laughter sound like what he feels he is missing.


Funny, the student he seems to want to be like is struggling with a very long commute to school, working, attending school, and trying to figure out how to properly eat and maintain everything simultaneously. Maybe it isn’t as simple as it looks on the outside.


On top of that, my entire yoga class had turned around to look at one another during an advanced option early in the week. So much for focusing on their own mat.


As I was speaking with this first student yesterday, we were talking about how hard the balance is, and how everyone seems to look at one another for comparison. This student said to become “your own best self.” Funny how hard that can be. He reflected on the ups and downs of his own training and the challenges we all face. I agreed that this is always a process for so many, myself included. But watching the interactions of the week made for such a profound statement for me. I will keep trying, for my own balance and for the example of that I set for others.


How will you be your own best self? And how will you know when you get there? What then?

Science is confusing!!!

I was a vendor at a wonderful event this weekend, called Shannon's Slumber Party.  They expected about 700 women, though I don't know how many finally showed up.  The ladies shopped, got their hair and nails done, and got demonstrations in self defense, Pole Fitness, Zumba fitness, and had a private concert.  They were there to party!

In the midst of it all, a very sweet woman came by and read the sign for Patriot's Dream Farm.  Many people ask me about the name of our farm, and others about the origin of the products we make.  She asked a bit about that, then about what my credentials were in regards to nutrition and wellness.

This wonderful lady asked me about my research backround, and whether I had any research experience with post cancer post menopausal fitness.  I get similar questions all of the time.  The hardest part of science is the reality that no one really knows for sure, especially in medical research.

Ira Flatow recently blogged about having two scientists on Talk of the Nantion Science Friday who disagreed about the findings in 2 ancient bones, and the repurcussions those findings had on evolutionary study.  They disagreed so vehemently, in fact, that the host had to referee a shouting match.  In the last week, the host found himself in similar ground moderating a discusison about where the oil has gone from the gulf oil spill/ leak.  At the end of the day, there is so much we just don't know.

Back to the question from my new friend.  She had been unable to find anything definitive about why her body had responded as it had, and how to get her precancer strength and endurance back.  The truth is, we just don't know.  We expect science and medicine to have the answers, but really it only has clues that we use ourselves to solve our own puzzle.

The response of each person to a given illness is different, as is their response to treatment.  And tey were different from those arond them to begin with.  Add in to that hormones, when treatment or illness fall in the hormone cycle of your body and you have quite a conundrum.  Science looks for groupings of responses in order to draw lines and parallels.  It is up to each of us to work with our physicians and trainers to see how those findigs apply to us as individuals.

That said, it is certainly not impossible.  By working with a log book, and using research as a guide, we make one change at a time, and see what the response was to that given change.  We continue to draw ideas and groups of ideas from science and work to balance that for each individual.  Like you hear all over this blog, patience, perseverance, hard work and being present really do pay off.  We treat each person s an individual, and remember that wat works today may change with fluctuations in hormones or a change in another element of the health condition of the individual.  And by working through it, with the client leadig the charge and at the center of the work, we create a set of options to choose from.  Then the individual has all of those tools in their toolbag to continue to change things.  Refresher meetings are about refreshing those tools and developing new ones.

So science doesn't have all the answers, or even most of them- yet.  But we are scientists too.  And the work of following the clues responsibly is well worth it.  Got a question?  Email me.  Think the answer might benefit someone else too?  Post it as a comment.  Have a great day.  And don't give up.