I wish you…

As the mother of a freshman daughter and fourth grade son, I spend a lot of time thinking about how to gently lead them while allowing them to find their way in this life.  That seems to be my big focus in life balance lately.  Some days for Bailey, some days for Wyatt.  The boys are intermixed with the girls all the time now at school, and many have been pairing off.  Bailey has told the potential boyfriends thus far that she just doesn’t have time right now, with school and 4H and so much on her plate, but I figure it is only a matter of time, I don’t get to keep her from growing up.

All I ever really wanted was to be worth it.  Worth the extra time to sit with and share hopes and dreams, worth time lingering after lunch or dinner or school really listening to what I had to say, worth staying awake to share secrets with after homework or work was over.  Worth holding hands and opening doors for, the little things that make you feel safe and loved.

Now, as I look at Bailey, I hope she will hold out for the little things, the things that show she matters.  I hope she won’t rush into anything just because she doesn’t want to be alone, and know how to say with manners and without hurting anyone’s feelings if she really doesn’t want to be more than good friends.  I hope she will maintain her sense of self, and her friendships, and learn how to be herself while with and apart from others.

I know so far, she is weaving her way through and watching her friends experiment with changing for boys and trying to learn to support friends who are forgetting to keep their friends or who are walking on others to climb socially.  I try to hear her out and remind her to be someone she can be proud of in the long run.  But I remember High School.  I know the times are rocky, and that it is art of the learning curve. And I know all Mamas worry, it is part of the job with the hours and heartache we naturally give it.  But I love my goofballs, like most every other Mama, and I wish for her to find her way through the trials and turbulence to the person she will become with as little hurt as necessary and lifting up others with her as she goes.  And I wish her the little things that will remind her how truly special he really is.