I would bet that when you clicked on this, you thought it would be all about the mission statement of the farm, right? Well, I will get to that. But it is really about life balance and doing the things we do best, and knowing our limits. This is especially for those who feel so responsible as the consummate volunteers that they overextend themselves to the point of frazzled. Anyone fit that description?
If you ask my husband, I have no room to talk in this department, and he would be partly right. But over the last couple years of our daughter being bullied by adults and the major life changes that have come with job changes and farming and beginning to home school the kids, there has been a great deal of self-reflection and people watching. Some of the people watching was to look for answers, some to learn to listen the warning signs so my children wouldn't be hurt again.
And I have learned a lot of things from this self reflection.
First, I need to learn to set boundaries and quit bending over backward to try to make people be nice when they are out to get someone. No amount of being nice will undo someone with the bent to bully. Once they have plotted and potted and bullied for so long, it doesn't matter. So set boundaries, and expect people to live up to their end of the bargain. You really can call people out on it and still have manners. Also, once the passive aggressive bully stuff starts, it really is time to walk away.
Second, no amount of good intentions fix overworked bad behavior. I had repeatedly, over the course of the last year, told my son that someone who was involved with the folks who bullied my daughter was likely not involved in the mess, and even as all should be treated with respect, this one was still there with the right intentions as well. I was surprised to see her also volunteering at yet another event, and realized she was quite curt with my son and I at check in. I figured little of it, though my son noticed, and I told him to let it go.
I am guessing that the person was there volunteering, yet again, because she felt no one else would do it. I am also guessing that is why she laid into him, screaming, until he was on the verge of tears right before his turn at competition. If you are so frazzled that you forget why you volunteered i the first place, then you need to step back and say, I would love to help, but I really cannot do that today. That speaks volumes. And if you are worried no one else will do it, read the next part.
Third, people really do, for the most part want to step up, even when they on't know how. Sure there are lunatics who have mean spirited intentions and would destroy a child to see their win, who would lie and cheat to get their way. But despite the experience we had lately, I have seen far more good folks. In fact, when we joined a home school group of folks who had been together forever, people have consistently reached out to include my children.
Additionally, some people who have been the consummate volunteers, the glue that have held programs together, have had to step down for health or family reasons. They knew they could not make it all work anymore.and stepped down. We miss them terribly. The parents remaining knew we could not do it all, but kept telling one another we would help anyone willing to be the figurehead. Then one parent stepped forward. You might think that everyone stepped back. But they didn't. The one that stepped forward is one of those great organizers. She put each of us in charge of what we felt we could handle, and then set us to work. We all had a responsibility in the final outcome. It might have been a little ragtag, but the mission was to save the project for the kids- and do it well, without taking the project into debt. So however imperfect, it still worked.
I know a lot of other farm folks out there who have some really cool goals. Like the folks over there at the hen house, who select charities to donate the proceeds of their baked goods and eggs to. They select different charities each time, based upon what they feel strongly about, and don't worry about saving the world, just making a difference every day.
My husband is an avid outdoors-man. He and his father and our son- who all look like different ages of the same person, mind you- go out on the desert cleanups with the other hunters. They will put tremendous energy into a single day cleanup and hauling all of the destructive mess out of the environment. He knows where his limits are, but works with recycling efforts and will take the kids on an afternoon walk along the road by the farm to pick up a bag of garbage and a bag of cans.
Here at the farm, I have my "Mama" mission, as well as us having our farm mission. The Mama Mission is all about raising children in the crazy world, and not becoming jaded by the crazies. Raising good, mannerly kids who follow through and work hard. And while not living with constant suspicion, setting boundaries on the drama that is allowed to mess with our life as a family.
As for the farm, we don't believe in the feed lot system of raising livestock, which can be quite a challenge in the desert. So we raise goats and chickens as naturally as we possible can, with lots of room to play and roam, but with fences so the rooster get along and the predators don't get to them. We raise veggies in pots and in the ground, and try new varieties each year, working with heirloom and organic varieties. We are also working on being good stewards of this environment. We use the shade of trees to prolong our growing season, and harvest water from the roof, composting the much and food waste to improve our yields. And we don't hide what we learn, whether it is good or bad. We share so that we can help others do better, too.
That isn't a fancy mission statement with pretty phrases for either one. But does encompass the goals we have for hte farm, and the goals I maintain for myself. We aren't perfect, but we don't expect anyone else to be, either. But maybe we can all do a better job if we work together.
So, what is your mission statement? How do you do with keeping it in mind? Any tips for saying no to keep from overextending? Or for knowing when to say when? Life is an ongoing exercise in balancing the multiple priorities and staying true to yourself and your mission. Spring cleaning and summer downtime are great for refocusing hte mission and looking at commitments for the coming year so that you can manage what is on your plate successfully and happily, Care to share your mission?
