I am sorry I disappeared for a bit there. I haven't had the words to share things lately. Even though, I have had fun stories, new products, and we have things going on around the farm, I was absent with some important people in my life.
Then today, as I drove home from teaching, I was thinking about the friends and loved ones coming and going, and the many blessings in our lives, and began to think I might be ready to write today. Then while I was doing chores before loading the car for the market, I heard this song, and I began to open up a bit. I don't know why, since this song really isn't much about what is going on in my life, but it has always touched me so perhaps that is all it was.
Here is the video for the song...
http://www.cmt.com/videos/dierks-bentley/701627/home.jhtml
To be completely honest, I don't know how much to tell. While I have often split several things off into other blogs, it seems to make more sense these days to be honest that life in balance is not something I have mastered, It is, instead, a work in progress, like many other aspects of our lives. And this morning, my students reminded me that somehow I should be remembering my role as an example for them and taking care of myself better (they caught me limping again).
I promised them that I understood, but that sometimes the balance goes off a bit, and it can be the act of bringing it back into balance which is more important in our long term wellness. And, in fact, my husband has promised to take care of the farm and dinner tonight so that after the farmer's market I could teach my last class of the day and take time to practice yoga before the drive back to the farm, the home school grading would still be there!
My mom has been staying with us a bit. She came to help my auntie, who was in a health crisis. In the end, the experts couldn't help with her inability to swallow or speak. I spent extra time with she and my mom. Last Wednesday, Bailey and I sat with Mom and laughed and told silly stories about auntie and sang songs. Thursday morning, she went to be with God, her parents and her husband. I hope she had a great dance with Uncle Mac on Friday, as we all watched cousin Ashley marry Michael, now a new cousin in the family.
Life is funny that way. Ups and downs and twists and turns. God has a plan for us all, even when we have a hard time letting him run the show.
Ashley's wedding was wonderful, and I was glad Daddy had flown in, too. Then on Saturday, we took eight chickens out to the poultry show. Since life was even crazier than expected, we ended up hanging out at the show to let the kids have fun with friends and participate in showmanship. Bailey even earned reserve champion in her age division, and third place overall. But more on that later, I will sit down and put in all the photos and plans for the chickens in a bit!
Have you ever sat in church and listened to the preacher launch into a sermon that seems tailor made for your life? Well, that proceeded to happen on Sunday. The minister began to speak about life in conflict, and how to handle those you are conflicting with. One of the tenets of coexisting was that you and the person you are in conflict with need to agree to live in peace.
I think that is the part that has been hardest. For years, I have gone with the turn the other cheek theory, thinking if I tried to be kind and guard involvement with those folks who have worked in concert to harass my child, that they would eventually be kind. Or that we could somehow coexist. Those people have consistently chosen to pretend to coexist, but have gone out of their way to be malicious and deceitful. I have had a lot of trouble with the ongoing anger that sits in my heart, something I don't like to hold on to. And when I see those who supposedly were to help my child, who were the only authority we could go to in order to prevent it from happening to someone else, when I see them holding those people who continue to try to hurt my child being held up with praise and helped to the top- I worry about what will happen to other youth, and what message that sends my children.
My daughter looked at me when she saw the rewards befalling these folks, and I told her that in the end, things will right themselves, and she will be better for being strong. While it doesn't change the desire to protect other youth, my approach with her has been to encourage her to continue to volunteer her time, though not in the section of the organization that protects and commends abusive people, instead to volunteer in the section doing the work that she really believes in. I tell her regularly that we are the company we keep and we are seen in conjunction with those who we keep company with, and their missions, so hopefully that will help guide a path Hopefully. I wish I always felt convinced that I was balancing protection and the right thing. Another of those aspects of life that doesn't come with an instruction manual.
Anyhow, I must admit that I am glad to be slowly getting things back on track this week. We were basically treading water with home school for a bit there, just the basics and most of our energy going to family. But truthfully, that is what I had looked most forward to in home schooling- living by our own priorities, focusing on the academics and the extra time going to experiential learning and the things we really believe in. So family was big, and we will be doing more academics as Christmas approaches that I had originally written in the plan, but that is okay.
But I do miss having my folks around. Wish they were closer- my sister and niece, too. Our family keeps growing smaller.
Well, the minister called to check on us earlier, and I thanked him for the resources and recommendations he had given us. I told him they helped as we just hung in there together and put one foot in front of the other. He seemed to understand just what I meant, and said that was what family was for. Maybe that makes me normal for once, but I wouldn't expect it.
I know the sadness is for those of us behind, and there is always more to learn and do. So I suppose that more than anything else, family is what I am thankful for as we move forward to the Thanksgiving holiday later this week. We somehow manage to stick together and love each other through it.
Well, I am back, and working on balancing things back out, and over the next day or so, I will do my best to update you on all the animals and fun. Have a blessed holiday and enjoy your family, whether it has feathers, fur, or what have you. Love to all.
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