A little reminder about Communication

We are on our way home from Oracle, and the Triangle Y YMCA Camp. This month, in Arizona, is the Month of the Military Child. Today was a partnership event where the youth do fun activities aimed at building teamwork, leadership and cooperation, and the whole family saw demonstrations and went through a room with available resources.


We learned about ACT and SAT prep available from Military One Source. We learned about some short camps coming up locally, and listened to the Army military youth of the year talk about volunteerism and staying positive and on goal. The afternoon LRC (leadership reaction course) was for the kids, but we parents were invited to follow along. It was proctored by the drug and gang task force members of the local military. There were seven different stations, including the carpet walk across the hot lava with the goblin stealing the carpets, a BDU relay, a challenge of using wood planks to get youth across an imaginary pond of water between concrete pylons, and more. Each task was designed to highlight a leadership skill or quality, an when they broke each skill down afterward to what worked and what didn’t, they related the youth back to the adaptations of life when their military family member deploys or returns.

There was one challenge with plastic pieces and a marble. The man in charge asked for a leader, and by now Wyatt knew to volunteer fast. They were to create an aqueduct of sorts to get the marble from the start area to the bucket several feet away. The man in charge said there needed to me more people (the group ours were in had two sets of two siblings), and had the mothers join in. I later found out why. We took several tries, though had a hard time communicating what changes needed to be made in order to improve our outcomes. Had we had one more try, I think we could have adjusted enough to complete the task. In the after breakdown, the man in charge asked what skill they were supposed to be working on- the kids figured out about communication pretty quickly.

The man in charge set about to remind the youth about how important communication is among the family members when hey family member leaves or returns. He had them talk about the roles they take on when their father is gone, and how they have to communicate with both their parents as well as their siblings before, during and after deployment. Then he set about to very pointedly remind the moms he had recruited that it is also our duty to lead by example in the communication structure and not leave out our husbands when they return or make them feel less a part of the family structure. It was VERY pointed. Kind of hit home, too.

As we all climbed the steps up to the main area where the youth would build a puzzle from the pieces collected as reward for completing tasks, I mentioned it to Charlie, and how pointed it was. He said he hoped I learned it. It was odd to hear from this man I didn’t know. I often read about how military wives feel frustrated and alone, and are tired of having to be strong, smile, and never have a day off. I often wonder why, if we all go through the same feelings, we are still in this place. It was kind of funny to hear that so many of the husbands all feel left out when they come home, too.

Just food for thought that led me to this blog piece. Hope you remember to take the time to communicate with and appreciate those around you.

Monday thought on Health and Wellness...the country way...

We enjoyed a wonderful concert by Tracy Lawrence on Saturday night. In the one moment I stepped away with Bailey, he sang a funny song about pills and our nation’s use of them over taking good care of ourselves. He sang of pills to make you gain weight, pills to make you lose weight, and how if we would just get up off our rear ends and exercise we would need far fewer pills if any at all.


Charlie was still laughing when Bailey and I returned. He said I had to hear it because I am always talking about how exercise, and movement in general, makes such a difference in your physical and mental health and well-being. So I got on YouTube today to look for it. Some of it is a little off-color, but in general right on the mark.

How funny that a country singer would put together a song so right on the mark about society in general. Or maybe it isn’t funny at all. Common sense tends to govern the thoughts of the simpler life, where we get up and work and take responsibility. If you need a good laugh, take a look at the video, or just take a look at your own life. Could diet and exercise help your body care for itself?

I am not by any means advocating ignoring your doctor’s prescriptions or advice. But eating right and exercising, taking responsibility for our actions and exhibiting the common sense our parents tried to instill in us makes a tremendous difference in the health outcomes possible. So look at your own life. What did you eat today? What did you do to better your health? Is common sense winning out?

Just a thought for your Monday. I am enclosing the link, but watch it judiciously, like I said, a little off color in some parts. But right on point. Happy Monday!

Here's to Mama...

Last week, my little girl called me for Valentine’s Day advice on letting a boy down easy and keeping his friendship. This after mean kids started a rumor the week before having her together with a boy she didn’t care for. She wanted nothing to do with all the boyfriend/ girlfriend drama at that point.  It sounded like she did well with it, since he was still her friend when she got sick a day later and ended up spending the remainder of the week in bed.


After the struggles of the farm in the last months, and everyone having been sick in the last couple weeks, I drove the morning carpool into the school lot this morning. The other little girl from the carpool said have a good day and took off across the field. I let Bailey out her door and gave her a hug, bidding her good luck. Last night was the first night she had been out of bed for more than a couple hours, and just the morning chores had her coughing, but now that she was no longer contagious, it was just too hard to miss any more school, especially during the run up to fair in an accelerated program.

As I turned back to the car, I saw Wyatt Clay taking off to the path across the back of the parking lot to the elementary school. His school bag slung across the front and lunch box across the back, he hadn’t even so much as called a goodbye. I called out to my baby, who walked back to meet me half the distance, and informed me he was walking to his school, and that Bailey lets him walk that way when he wants to on days she has him before school. I asked if he planned to say goodbye, and two strong little arms shot out around my waist. A quick kiss, a “Love you Mama,” and he waved and turned.

I got behind the steering wheel and watched him while I waited for a chance to back out. Funny, he walks faster when he is on his own. I felt the tears behind my eyes and noticed he had left a Taylor Swift CD in, with a song about never growing up and the Mom you are leaving growing old. (So not fair!) I pulled around the circle and headed for the elementary school to watch him. He caught me. I pulled into a parking spot facing the field at the elementary, and he walked up, waving goodbye for the fourth or fifth time. I was dismissed with a smile and an assurance that I could go, he could walk in by himself just fine, and he saw a tear.

“What, Mama?”

“Nothing, just checking. It’s my job, you know.”

“I’m fine. You can go now.” Another wave.

Ouch.

I know I am still loved. I still get hugs and kisses, whether others are around or not. And when the world comes crashing in, it is me. But Charlie is fun and cool- I know partly because they see so little of him, with his schedule and theirs, and all the travel. Part of being the one who is always there is the holding on and letting go dance. Feeling the weight of the world and the need to keep the world at bay while I cheerlead them into it. And feeling like the one growing old and wanting them to stay little with me when I know they cannot. I will get there- someday. Just don’t make it too soon, okay? And how about another hug and another wave while we are at it? I have a feeling they like knowing they can still find me in the parking lot and at the other end of the cell phone call. I know I like finding my own Mama at the other end of the phone.

Here’s to Mamas everywhere.

Dear Diary, Valentine's Day Post 2011

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

It is Monday, and here  am at the craft store.  Charlie came home a week ago, and we had a busy weekend as a family this weekend, after a busy week.  I guess this post will seem as much like a Dear Diary as anything else!

Last Monday, all of the Science Fair projects went in at the school.  Yay!  Over this year's process, I learned that Bailey Noelle doesn't like to experiment, she wants to research and find concrete answers.  Wyatt Clay, on the other hand, loves the mess and exploration of any experiment.  Working with a child with organizational issues who has a teacher who doesn't think girls can be scientists and doesn't really get into biology while my child has a heavy biology project makes me want to pull my hair out, and working with a child with processing problems requires me to be SEVERAL steps ahead of the teacher, as these projects are evil after farm chores and a 1.5 hour after school and after tutoring commute on a weekday!  Needless to say, I am on the growing list of Mamas who want to do science project over the summer break when he children can actually learn something from the endeavor.

So after all of that, football and basketball practice were thankfully light leading up to the championship playoffs for Bailey's team and the last regular season game for Wyatt's team.  Both kids are spending a lot of time in tutoring with their instructors, pulling things together that fell apart when all heck broke loose on the farm while Charlie was away the last time, and then they will begin working ahead in preparation for Pima County Fair.  So through the letdown, all three of us were sick.  Wyatt was the only one who ended up home from school, though.

Saturday we woke up slowly and took care of the animals before heading across town to Wyatt's football game.  Another win for the undefeated Outlaws!  Next up, playoffs!  That's Wyatt, by the way, holding off two kids on the back right.

After football, since we were on the East side, we went to the commissary and BX, then headed home to feed before heading out again, this ime to Science Dicovery Night!  When we got there, the Physics Factory was in full swing, and I hung ou in the field with Nathan (we had had no time to bottle feed so he came along) while Bailey and the boys went in.  There were some great experiments on display, and each classroom had something special going on.  Wyatt loved the robotics, but said the microscopes set up in Mr Ali's room were his favorite.

We got home late, enjoyed a special dessert Charlie had bought, and headed to bed. That didn't help me get up on time though, the dogs were VERY annoyed with it taking me clear to 7:30 to finally rise and shine!

I worked on my painting and greenhouse projects, Bailey worked on animals and homework, and the boys traded off four roosters when they went on the feed store run.  Funny how it never seems like we get enough done!  Charlie made a delicious dinner with grilled mushrooms and asparagus, and we gathered at the burn pile to make smores!

 

We were up rather late finishing Valentines off for classes- hope everything got there this morning!Wow, am I tired.  Oh, and here are some new photos of three week old Nathan- on second thought, maybe this post is long enough and he should get his own!  Have a wonderful Valentine's Day, hug someone special!

Sleep, who needs it?

As usual, I am tired.  The farm has kept me quite busy, with the drama and heartwrench and tremendous joy that only children and farming can bring.  Last night, Hopper Spark and Remington cuddled baby Nathan and gave me five straight hours of sleep between feedings after he ran hard to keep up with my farm chores yesterday.  Thanks so much to my goofy dogs!

As I sit here at the craft store today, cleaning out some of my files and updating quickbooks during a very slow day in the store, I finished an article on sleep and health for my students at Pima.  Funny, coming from me, but sleep really is one of my top resolutions this year to benefit my health and wellness. In fact, this article came about because Tammy asked me what my own goals were after a discussion about goals and how we would know when we achieved them.

That said, following is the article.  I am still trying, and I hope you will the thoughts as you prioritize sleep in your schedule.  While I don't see long afternoon naps in bed or on the couch anywhere close in my future, I am working to make sleep a nighttime priority.  So here ya' go  Hope it helps you think healthy...

Sleep, who needs it?


This time every year, people are setting (and sometimes already breaking) their resolutions for wellness. I am often asked what my goals are for the year. To be quite honest, I am pretty active, and work consistently at getting in the cardio and weights. Leading yoga groups helps me remember not only to practice the yoga, but the mindfulness as well. Nevertheless, stress and exhaustion are ever present. So what is my real goal for health and wellness? Sleep. Did you know that keeping up with sleep can even help fight cancer!

I see students who work out tremendously and eat poorly, those who cannot seem to get themselves into the gym, those who despise either cardio or weights. Somehow, some changes are easier than others. For me, I have struggled to work enough sleep into my schedule since college. But somehow, it was easier to kid myself about the effects of skipping sleep back then.

What are the health effects of not getting enough sleep? Well, when sleep deprivation is short lived, the effects are not too bad, and the health effects are more easily and readily reversed. Yet when you deprive your body of sleep in the long term, the body begins to suffer more.

Some negative side effects of long term sleep deprivation include interference with learning and memory, decreased metabolism and weight gain, inattention due to falling asleep during the daytime, mood swings including irritability and impatience, decrease in cardiovascular health, and a decrease in immune function leading to becoming sick or developing chronic diseases such as diabetes.

It is recommended that you sleep 7-9 hours each night. That isn’t always possible, and sometimes there are people who don’t need quite as much as others. Still, it is while you sleep that your body is most able to repair itself. During sleep, your body focuses on internal processes rather than the never-ending to-do list.

Consider it this way. When your body is deprived of sleep, it goes into a state of stress. This produces stress hormones, and increases the blood pressure and cholesterol levels, adding more stress for your heart and brain, eventually leading toward heart attacks and strokes. Therefore, sleep reduces the stress on your body, allowing for better blood flow and circulation, enabling your body to reduce inflammation and repair from exercise and injury. Then in the day time following that healthy sleep, the sleep induced repair will allow you to pay better attention to the task at hand, and make fewer mistakes. This alertness increases you chances of a better night of sleep the following night. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

When you consider that your new alertness and energy keep you better tuned in, you are paying better attention in class and at work, and processing what you are learning. See where I am going with this? Proper sleep bumps up you memory, your mood, your attentiveness and your cognitive function- allowing you to draw better from your memory banks and seem or become smarter!

I mentioned weight increases with a state of sleep deprivation. Research has shown a greater likelihood of being overweight in those who sleep less than 7 hours each night. The hormones in your body that affect appetite and weight control are easily disrupted when your body doesn’t get the chance to sleep and repair itself. I am sure you are at least remotely familiar with the connection between stress hormones and fat retention as well. Now, sleep won’t make you thin, but it will better enable your body to function, thereby enabling all that work you do in the gym to pay off.

Study after study draws a correlation between drowsiness and heart attacks, cancer, stressed relationships, accidents, memory impairment and a host of other issues. While we are working on our to-do lists and wellness priorities, shouldn’t we include sleep? It is far from easy to make changes, but stay focused, stay organized, and go to bed on time. That early morning workout will be more productive for it, and your body will thank you!

Full Moons Bring Babies

I had always heard that full moons bring babies. We had never actually seen that until early this morning. A new baby buckling has arrived...

So far he likes talking with his half brother Obediah in the next pen over, so early signs are pointing to this being a Nathan.  Watch for the final name and more updates!!

Little Eyes are Watching

Little Eyes are Watching


I have been thinking about this blog post for a couple weeks, but I decided this morning it was very appropriate for what is going through many of our minds and hearts about now. While working around the house at Christmastime we often leave on the channel with all of the country music. They had a special where they interview Reba McIntire in between playing her videos.

While interviewing Reba, they discussed the issue of role models. She said that, from back in the time when she played basketball in school, the coach had had a sign posted on the mirror in the locker room, which said “Little Eyes are Watching.” This was to remind each of the members of the team that little ones watched their every move, and how they carried themselves. That, like it or not, they were role models and were expected to behave as such. This certainly struck a chord with me.

Often times we hear people say things like “I never asked to be a role model,” or “being a role model is the parents’ job not mine.” But what we do each day, every action and reaction is seen by the little ones around us. Little ones are around us, watching how we prepare for the day, how we stay on track, handle traffic, and handle joys and disappointment, and how we treat those around us. We cannot simply complain about the state of the world we live in. We have to lead by example to create the positive community we want to be a part of- the better world we would wish to leave for them.

Did someone make you late, cut you off in traffic, say something unkind or out of line? Did you let it hurt you or anger you, or did you have the presence of mind and resiliency to respond with kindness and a reminder to yourself that we all have our days? Some days we don’t respond the way we know we wish we would have. Do we admit that? Do we accept our imperfection and discuss our own goals for ourselves openly and honestly? (This part, by the way, is proven to help us achieve more of our goals).

So I tried to help the kids learn what was good in the intent of some of those I was uncomfortable with in dealings over the weekend. And I explained what we should expect of ourselves in the morals we ascribe to. And I let them watch a little coverage of the national event that happened here while we were at football and poultry to figure out what the real story was of what had happened, as opposed to the hearsay of the whispers at the events, then turned the TV off and went back to working our chores. I answered questions honestly and pointed out that there are crazy people in all walks of life, that we have to choose to spend our time with people who have the same values as us, (though not always the same views) and work to be people we can be proud of.

Sometimes I do a better job of that than others. I am still working on it. We all are. But maybe with the little eyes watching, they will hold my feet to the fire, and learn to forgive themselves on their own road to being goo role models. I don’t know. But I know it is worth a try.

Little eyes really are watching. Let’s teach them well, so that they may really have a better world. Or at least that’s my vote.